The New Slam For Conservative?

We’re “Cracker Barrel” folks. They – the liberals – are “Whole Foods” shoppers. Are you fucking kidding me?

You can’t find this place out where I live,” laments a middle-aged man from Arlington to a white-haired shopkeeper at Manassas’s Cracker Barrel on a recent Saturday. Over the store’s speaker system, a country singer croons about going back to the way things were. In the dining room, a heaping plate of the restaurant’s signature “Chicken n’ Dumplins” sells for $7.39. More than a dozen pickup trucks — and just six European cars — dot the parking lot less than a mile from the Civil War battlefield.

Yea, them good-old boys sure like their chicken n’ Dumplins. Meanwhile, in Blue Country:

The same day, 26 miles closer to Washington, an attendant herds four Toyota Priuses and eight German luxury cars around a parking lot at Clarendon’s Whole Foods, the nerve center of a posh neighborhood that has spawned three boutique cupcakeries and two frozen-yogurt shops in the past two years. Inside, a quart of organic pomegranate juice runs $10.99. Large placards celebrate Whole Foods’ seven “core values,” its five-step animal-welfare rating system and a three-color “eco-scale” for household cleaning products.

I bet that middle-aged, white man would even KNOW was organic pomegranate juice was! Or he’s probably say something really unenlightened like “What kind of idiot pays $11 for some dang pomegranate juice!” Ha ha ha. What an idiot.

There’s an increasing alignment between brand personality and political personality,” says Alex Lundry, vice president and director of research for TargetPoint, a GOP microtargeting firm. “That’s what makes the microtargeting we do so powerful.”

And it becomes self-sustaining. After Whole Foods and Cracker Barrel locate near consumers who can make stores profitable, “those stores become a magnet for consumers who think alike,” Lundry says.

Funny, I thought that Cracker Barrel located itself right off highways, to attract the travelers. You can’t take a road trip without seeing one every few exits. And, highways are LARGELY located in rural areas, which are largely conservative. Duh.

Urban areas are largely blue, and don’t fit with the Cracker Barrel model – stand-alone stores surrounded by ample parking. They’re simply not going to put one in New York. Or Detroit, although there is one in Macomb Country … which went Democrat in the last election.

Of course, in comments, we see this:

how many customers of cracker barrel watch fox news?

how many customers of whole foods watch pbs?

which group is healthier?

You know, I have a comparison. We’ll stick with the Cracker Barrel for conseratives, but instead of Whole foods for liberals, I’m going to pick a different demographic. Say … Detroit. Detroiters are overwhelmingly democratic voters. How about we examine the food choices made by Detroiters, and their relative health and obesity rates?

Another insightful comment:

12/11/2011 10:13 AM EST
I would bet the crackers are 50 pounds heavier on average (fat mostly in their brains)

Ha ha ha … that’s so funny. I say this commenter should take a little trip with me. We’ll stop at one of the MANY MANY fried-food carry-outs located in Detroit, where he can evaluate the relative health and fitness of THOSE voters.

I neither frequent Cracker Barrel nor Whole Foods. The one isn’t very healthy for my body, and the other isn’t healthy for my wallet.

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3 Comments on “The New Slam For Conservative?”

  1. Brains are mostly fat, so that guy’s a dumbass. Fat brain = smrt.

  2. unistat Says:

    There is a Cracker Barrel in Wayne Co. off of 94 near Belleville. I do not need to tell you how “blue” WaCo is. This article is non-sense anyway as Cracker Barrel is a restaurant and Whole Foods is a grocery store. Comparing apples to oranges (organic only, of course.)

    Really the joke is on the writer of this article as the owner of Whole Foods is a pretty hard core Libertarian and is just filling a market niche selling to food snobs. He is laughing all the way to the bank.

  3. I just smile whenever the left tries to assert its “obvious” superiority with nonsense like this…

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