Conflict Minerals: The New Liberal Cause

Could I possibly loath Ashley Judd any more?

It’s unpossible. Liberal guilt attacks as she travels with her iPod, iPhone, and Macbook Air.

I didn’t even want all this stuff. My iPod was in gift basket from an event, about eight years ago (yeah, still rockin’ the classic). My iPad was a gift from a generous producer. My perfectly good previous iPhone was stolen, and Baton Rouge had plenty of the new ones, so, movie star whatever excitement in the store, and I somehow ended up with one. This is typical of the Saturation of Stuff that characterizes much of our society.

No, my friend. The saturation of stuff characterizes YOUR society. Me? I don’t have so much shit. I don’t fly to the Congo to “educate myself firsthand” about “conflict minerals”. You’d think with all that stuff, she’d have heard that you can actually learn shit on the internet.

I am financing mass rape as I enjoy these ridiculously Global North ultra-efficiencies and conveniences, for large scale rape is the preferred predation mining interests use to humiliate and terrify local populations, in order to control resource areas. The UN notes that virtually every mine in DRC is militarized.

Conflict minerals are the new Free-trade coffee.

Humn, what could Ashley possibly do to free her conscious? Think, think, think ….

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4 Comments on “Conflict Minerals: The New Liberal Cause”

  1. Sean M. Says:

    I didn’t even want all this stuff. My iPod was in gift basket from an event, about eight years ago (yeah, still rockin’ the classic). My iPad was a gift from a generous producer.

    “No, thank you.”

    I know it’s hard to say stuff that’s not printed on a script for you, but, really, three simple syllables like that shouldn’t be all that tough to remember.

  2. Sean M. Says:

    Ooh, I’ve got an even better idea!

    Don’t want all this stuff? Donate it to charity. Disabled American Veterans, for example, would be happy to take your awful, awful unwanted stuff off your hands.

  3. Car in Says:

    I believe Ashley is one of those huge greenies, right? Yet she’s taken not just one, but TWO trips to educated herself about the plight of those in the Congo.

    I know perhaps this may come as a huge surprise to Ashley, but not everyone lives with so much stuff, such largess.

    I don’t have to wrestle with my conscious that I dragged my iPod, iPad, AND macbook air on the plane with me while I flew to help the poor people of AFrica.

  4. geoff Says:

    Most people marvel at the amazing advances in technology and revel in their new empowerment. It’s only useless materialistic bling if you don’t use it. What a small little mind.


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